Dialogue

The final thread reviewed in chapter 36 is Dialogue, defined by Griffin as "transparent conversation that often creates unanticipated relational outcomes due to parties' profound respect for disparate voices" (p. 482). I agree with Buber in the fact that he says dialogue happens in 'I-Thou' relationships, because dialogue is what happens between two people, and you can never predict what is going to be said.

"Dialogue is typically not a way to accomplish a task; what we get is an authentic relationship" (p. 483). To me, this quote best exemplifies what dialogue is capable of achieving. Because it is through dialogue that you get to know one another, understand each other, and build healthier relationships. I know that when I communicate with individuals in some sort of intimate relations, dialogue is really important in order progress and move forward.

Conflict: Good or Bad?

I think that conflict is an area that most people try to avoid because it usually has a negative connotation. However, it can be both good and bad. The text states that "unjust communication stifles needed conflict; healthy communication can make conflict productive" (p. 481). I completely agree. If you can communicate effectively, conflict can be a positive learning experience. Griffin defines conflict as "the struggle between people who perceive they have incompatible values and goals, or competing over scarce resources" (p. 482). Which makes sense. On the other hand, some face-to-face interactions deal with using power to squash conflict instead of working through it. Watzlawick talks of a double bind in his interactional view theory where the 'powerful' or dominant person in a relationship insists that the individual with less power act as if the relationship were actually symmetrical. That is a really unfair type of conflict, which I see in the workplace sometime. For instance, when managers use double standards; when they require everyone do a task, that they wouldn't want to do themselves, but yet claim they are on a level playing field. I've seen this cause conflicts at work.

Motivation

I think that Griffin does a really good job of summarizing things up in this chapter, reviewing all the theories. One of his threads, which reminds me entirely of me, is motivation for communication which he talks about on pages 472-474. He states: "Communication is motivated by our basic social need for affiliation, achievement, and control, as well as our strong desire to reduce our uncertainty and anxiety." (472). He makes it crystal clear that these are the reasons of how and why we choose to communicate. I was able to relate to each of those reasons as it occurred to me that not everyone will have the same reasons, or the same 'amount' of each reason, or even all of the reasons. It could just be one motivating factor for one person and another for someone else. This makes sense for social penetration and social exchange theories, as those involve interpersonal communication, for personal interests.

Depending on what my desire of an outcome is, I may act/communicate differently. Only after this class am I now able to stop and think "what do I want from this?" and choose to communicate accordingly. It's a useful tool.