The concept of Social Penetration is defined as the "process of developing deeper intimacy with another person through mutual self-disclosure and other forms of vulnerability" (p. 114). This process is important because it explains how closeness develops in relationships, which most people encounter at one time or another. Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor (both social psychologists) explain that relationships [i.e. best friends] proceed when they moved in "a gradual and orderly fashion from superficial to intimate levels of exchange as a function of both immediate and forecast outcomes" (p. 114). It's been so long since I've gotten to know my best friends, so I don't remember how our relationships began, but I can relate the social penetration theory to myself at work with my co-workers.
Personally, I think it's a very fine line of what people should disclose at work in terms of their personal life, and I'm sure most people feel this way, especially when they start a new job. There's 14 of us, 6 of us are women and over the past year I have been here, I feel very close with my CFO and Director of Administration. They've made me comfortable enough to start disclosing details about what was going on with my life (family and personal relationships), yet we have been able to maintain a professional relationship as they have gotten to know me. I remember a couple months ago when we hired a new Executive Admin, I was afraid of how she'd fit into our office and how comfortable I would feel talking to her. But as time passed, and we got past the superficial information exchange, we began to have a higher level of self-disclosure. We are getting to know each other on a personal level and enjoy disclosing information to each other, beyond the "how was your weekend" type of thing. Obviously, we are probably not going to consider each other best friends as we are co-workers and still keep that level of respect for each other, but maybe it's a perk of working in a small office and having another person to confide in :)
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6 years ago
4 comments:
When I read about the social penetration I too thought back to my first encounters with my best friends. I don't know if I intentionally held back personal information, but I do know that it took time before we told each other our deep dark secrets. I consider myself a very open person but that has left me open and vulnerable. I now keep my guard up and think before I disclose. You are right that there is a fine line.
You make an important point about work relationships. In the early days of organizational communication research, employees were encouraged to be open and honest in all their communication. But too much openness is not always a good thing at work. Sometimes you may find out information about a coworker you'd rather not know. On the other hand, getting to know coworkers better can improve working relationships. So you have the assess the situation carefully and determine if any harm can come from the information you disclose.
I totally agree with you on the co-worker thing! I used to work at McDonald's and it was absolute hell working there because I did not know any of the employees there. It's already tough for one to work in a place he/she hates but to have to work there without interacting with any of his/her co-workers can drive that person into insanity. Fortunately, I was on my 15-minute break one day, and one of my co-workers sat down with me and we had a great conversation. It was totally unexpected (and actually she explained to me how she had just broken up with her boyfriend) and it ended up being a good friendship while it lasted. I trusted her and she trusted me, but unfortunately we are no longer as close as we once were because of the geographical distance between us.
Your comment about self disclosure at the work place hit it on the nail. I am very aware of what I disclose about my personal life at work. There are actually two people from work that I share intimate details of my life with. I am very friendly and outgoing at my workplace but usually the conversation is about the new construction at work or the weather. That fine line you mention is something I don’t want to come close too. I have witnessed to many instances at my place of employment where personal information has been used for the wrong reasons. This has lead me to be very cautious when it comes to self disclosure in the work place.
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